Kenneth Keith Kallenbach: 1967-2008

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, the long-haired weirdo “comedian” best known for being a member of Howard Stern’s Wack Pack, has died after a bout with pneumonia. He was 39.

Kallenbach contracted his deadly ailment while in custody on an attempted child abduction charge in Pennsylvania. His mother, Fay, is blaming Delaware County jail officials for not properly taking care of her son, who suffered from cystic fibrosis. Prison officials have responded by saying they’re “shocked” by Fay Kallenbach’s accusations, claiming she had previously thanked them for the care they were providing for Kenneth.

Kenneth Keith, whose signature bit was attempting to blow cigarette smoke out of his eyeballs, never achieved the fame and prestige other Stern Wack Packers saw. That’s most likely due to the fact he was a fairly normal dude. He wasn’t an alcoholic dwarf or an alcoholic giant or an alcoholic clown; Ken was just a regular, run-of-the-mill loser who thought he had some great talent.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we ever actually saw smoke come out of his eye sockets. We most assuredly did see him vomit during one failed attempt, though.

You know, I have a roommate named Ken, and lately I have been referring to him as Kenneth Keith Kallenbach (and I’m pretty sure he has no idea what I’m talking about). That’s a little weird. Do you think if I start calling someone else I live with Angry Black, Angry Black will die? I hope not. That’s a power and responsibility I don’t want to have.

Oh, I almost forgot: no one had Kenneth Keith in the death pool. The score remains unchanged.