Cryptozoology Kicked In The Nuts Once Again
So it turns out the Montauk Monster, the gross and unidentifiable beast that washed ashore on Long Island last month, is probably just a viral marketing stunt. I think I can speak for all enthusiasts of the unexplained when I say goddammit.
First Bigfoot’s a hoax, then the Loch Ness Monster turns out to be a toy submarine…is any of this shit ever going to be real? Someone bring me the head of the Jersey Devil before I completely lose my faith in mysteries, legends, and folklore.
At least we still have this:
Also I’m working on a theory that the Jersey Maneater ate the Jersey Devil.
The Jersey Maneater couldn’t have eaten the Jersey Devil, not if you saw him that one time at the Bon Jovi concert.
That really is Bigfoot doing those commercials. He’s like the amish guys in the 80’s who started showing up in films with harrison ford. He is just doing it to throw suspicion away from the reality of the existence of his people.
Besides who better than a vegetarian to promote meat snacks?