1983 Was A Good Year For Franken Berry

Chuck Biscuits: without question, one of the best drummers in the history of rock. Aside from being able to play with incredible accuracy at jaw-dropping speeds, this elusive Canadian freelancer also hit the skins with remarkable strength. He seemed to improve the sound of every band he was in – especially the Circle Jerks and Social D. Those two groups completely plateaued when ol’ Chucky B was behind the kit. Observe:

The general rock community also seems to agree that the only worthwhile period of Danzig’s solo career was 1988 – 1994, the years Chuck was pounding Glenn’s skins. It’s hard to argue that point after listening to “Godless”:

Yet music was not the only forte of the talented Mr. Biscuits (I know I’m talking like he’s dead, but he’s not—just retired). Did you know Chuck also holds a PhD in the competitive field of cerealogy? It’s true. The guy who played so many of the hot beats on Tougher Than Leather knows more about breakfast than me, you, or your wacky grandmother:

Best quote: “There’s strict instructions with these not to be opened until mere moments before Doomsday…”

I heard about this clip for years, and I have to say it exceeded my expectations. Someone needs to get Chuck Biscuits a regular spot on the Food Network immediately (maybe he can replace this tool). With his humorous baritone and respectable delivery, Chuck would be the hero of housewives and snot-nosed young children everywhere.