Photos The AP May Use In News Stories About My Death

…And Their Appropriate Captions.

James Greene, Jr., seen in this undated photo with friends Batman and Drew Mack, was an avid fan of the bizarre and outlandish. It is said his collection of celebrity toenail clippings numbered in the thousands.

JG2 admittedly didn’t do much studying during his college years, preferring instead to “snort milkshakes and look cool at the beach,” as evidenced by this picture from 2002.

Friends and loved ones described Greene, who died yesterday after falling out of his vehicle at an area car wash, as “quite the cut-up.” Here the late writer is seen goofing off with a cracker in a neighbor’s home.

James Greene generally stayed away from alcohol – unless he had a lawn to mow. “I don’t cut grass sober,” he loved to say. “Not now, not ever.” The popular writer died last week from injuries sustained during a penguin attack.

Seen in this 2009 photo taken on the campus of Yale, writer JG2 was proud of being accepted to and subsequently turning down every school in the Ivy League. The screenwriter of such beloved films as Police Academy 8: Mission Duluth and Too Many Carp! died this morning after an eight year battle with restless leg syndrome.