Chuck Biscuits To JG2: “I Am Awake In The Land Of Tree-Huggin’ Bunny-Fuckers.”

Last month for Crawdaddy! I wrote an open letter to missing-in-action punk/metal drum legend Chuck Biscuits demanding he reveal his current whereabouts and explain his lengthy absence from the rock n’ roll scene. The whole thing was just a goof, really; I never expected this piece to garner anything but a few chuckles from those in the know. I mean, honestly – only two people commented on “An Open Letter To Chuck Biscuits,” and they were both me!

So, you can imagine my complete and utter shock last night when I opened up my Gmail and discovered a brief message waiting for me from the reclusive man in question himself, Mr. Charles Montgomery “Chuck” Biscuits. Yeah, you read that right—Chuck Biscuits sent me an e-mail last night. Cue montage of mushroom clouds, women fainting, and cats rubbing their eyes in disbelief.

I shan’t reveal the entire body of text Mr. B sent me, although I will tell you the former Danzig member confirmed that he is currently “awake” and “rotting twice to the gut” in “the land of the flanneled, tree-huggin’ bunny-fuckers” (does that mean Seattle or Northern California?). A picture was included to verify that I was in fact reading a passage written by the one and only Chuck Biscuits:


So true.

A dialogue has been opened with Chuck concerning an in-depth, one-on-one interview for CDad; I shall keep you updated on any developments. In the meantime, I invite all the JG2 haters to bask in the vaporizing glow of my rock n’ roll hermit magnetism powers.

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50 responses to “Chuck Biscuits To JG2: “I Am Awake In The Land Of Tree-Huggin’ Bunny-Fuckers.””

  1. Judd Morgan says :

    Chuck is one of the most underrated drummers of all time and happens to be my all time favorite! His presence on stage and his straight-forward, rock solid beats are absolutely amazing!

  2. Derek Dykeman says :


    I was asking Randy Rampage (former bass player of D.O.A.) and Chuck’s former bandmate where Chuck was living he said in Seattle he told me this about 2 years ago. I was also messaging Chuck when he was doing a drum deal on the internet about 10 years. I tried to get an interview with him but no luck. He presumed what I was doing was an interview hahaha! I seen Chuck in the Circle Jerks, Danzig and Social Distortion I hope u do this interview and hope to see him back in action! Cheers Derek.

  3. dbogod says :

    what, no “[**update**] I’m a sucker” addendum to this post?

  4. Anonymous says :

    Anybody have a recent picture of Chuck Biscuits?

  5. SchnarchenBlog says :

    Amazing – very interesting issue. I will write about it likewise!

  6. Kopp says :

    There is a guy, living in Big Bear Lake,CA, claiming he is Chuck Biscuits.
    I met him one year ago. But now i have some doubts about it.
    Does anyone have a recent picture of him?

  7. Anonymous says :

    There a guy living in big bear ca who claims to be chuck biscuits. Clearly not the guy in this photo. But swears he’s him. Had us all fooled for awhile. We were still a little unsure. So I’m glad to see this photo that justifies my doubts

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    sooo…..why did you post this whole open letter to Chuck Biscuits demanding his whereabout’s, and whatnot only to then receive a letter from him and not reveal what it said?

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Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. Chuck Biscuits: 1965-2009 « - October 29, 2009
  2. Chuck Biscuits Is Alive « - October 30, 2009
  3. The Chuck Biscuits Death Hoaxer: Chuck Biscuits? « - November 11, 2009
  4. makeup - September 24, 2011

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