A Glossary Of Terms My Friends & I Used In Middle / High School

angus beef [an-GUS beef] -interjection. Used as a loud, elongated nonsense greeting, primarily during lunch periods. “Aaaaaaangus BEEF!” Tom exclaimed to his friends, announcing his arrival.

b brand [BEE bran-DUH] -adjective. Term applied to any person, place, or thing considered one step below the absolute height of quality or popularity. A lot of kids were there, but they were mostly b brand seniors and dorks.

cuntrenti [kunt-RENT-ee] -noun. An angry female authority figure employed by the school board.

jagschitz [JAG-shits] -noun. A grizzled, elderly fisherman or janitor type; adapted from Connecticut seafaring legend Louie Jagschitz. Watch out for the jagschitz that works at Blockbuster – I hear he likes to touch little boys.

jizzgusting [jizz-GUS-ting] -adjective. Excessively offensive or gross; used in place of “disgusting” to annoy / confuse adults.

mofro [mow-FRO] -noun. A drug-addled goth burnout type who refuses to wear colors other than black and who never removes his or her sunglasses. You see that mofro over there? He got his pet snake high the other night.

nugget [nug-IT] -adjective. Slang for any person, place, or thing perceived as devastatingly hip or cool. God, Cheryl’s so nugget, with her Bush t-shirt and Checkered Vans.

pocket fries [POCK-it freyes] -noun. A collection of french fries or tater tots kept in one’s pants or coat pocket. Oh shit, Gabe’s got pocket fries goin’ on again!

truck driver [TRUCK dry-VER] -noun. An extremely large, unbroken piece of fecal matter found in the boy’s room toilet. Man, check out the truck driver in the last stall!

white webster [WHITE web-STUR] -noun. A fast-talking, sassy Caucasian localized entirely to our school; adapted from popular “Webster” TV show. Greg Zawacki was a regular white webster back there in Mrs. Shea’s politics class.