Crazy-Ass Dream: My Uncle Fucking Rules

So I’m sitting at an outdoor bistro of some sort with Drew Barrymore and a couple other people when, all of a sudden, Adrian Brody walks up in a long blond wig. He’s speaking in an obviously fake Swedish accent and presents Drew with a big plate of guacamole. Before Drew could react, Justin Long walks up with the largest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen in my life. Justin grabs Drew and they start kissing; for the sake of comfort, Justin rests his butt on the table, inadvertently crushing Adrian Brody’s guacamole plate.

Tensions were rising, it seemed like a fight might break out, and then, from out of fucking nowhere, my Uncle pops up behind Justin and Drew and begins singing “Sunshine Superman” with alternate lyrics. The first line he sang was, “Hap-pily MARRIED, ya da da…” as if to say, “I don’t have to worry about this kind of drama because I’m happily married. I nearly shit my pants it was so funny.

My Uncle then took everyone on a bus tour of a nearby celebrity neighborhood. He sang the entire time, and it was awesome.

Another aspect of this dream involved me filling in as director for a high school play of some sort. All these kids kept calling me on my cell phone with questions about costumes and scenery and I just had no idea what the hell to tell them. I was more concerned with what would happen at the end of the play. Was I supposed to go out on stage and take credit for directing the whole thing? I really hadn’t done shit. I was quite the moral dilemma.

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