Highlights From My 8th Grade Field Trip To Washington, D.C.

– almost missing the bus the morning we left because I was too caught up playing “Pac-Man” or “Dig Dug” with Adam Boyaji in the school cafeteria; yes, we were such spoiled rich assholes that sometimes our school brought in big-time arcade games for us to play

– listening to lots of MC Hammer on my Walkman during the bus ride

– listening to lots of “Weird Al” on my Walkman during the bus ride; at one point, Lauren Lee Rae grabbed my headphones to see what I was jammin’ to; thankfully, she mistook Al’s “Isle Thing” (a parody of Tone Lōc’s “Wild Thing”) for the genuine article and I was saved from mockery

– a bunch of kids playing that crazy game with the folded up piece of paper that supposedly predicts your future (“You’re gonna live in a shack in Mississippi with Amanda Boyce and fifteen wild pigs!”)

– stopping at the Vince Lombardi Memorial Truck Stop in New Jersey and smelling the most puke I’d ever smelled anywhere

– Bill Rapp getting in trouble at a mall in Delaware for buying a pellet gun

– Jim Raymond NOT getting in trouble for buying a lighter somewhere that was actually one of those super powerful joy buzzers and tricking every single person on the bus into getting shocked

– some kid on the other bus supposedly shoving a Coke bottle up his ass in a misguided attempt to impress a girl

– Pete Rappoccio violently enforcing the five minute shower rule we instituted in our hotel room

– Jim Raymond covering me with tissues and toilet paper one night while I slept

– our official Washington, D.C. tour guide, who looked and acted just like one of the Beastie Boys from the “Sabotage” video

– our typing teacher getting into trouble for drinking wine at the hotel one night (this may have actually happened the year before, but I’m including it here because it was pretty much THE scandal of our day)

– World War III breaking out in our room after Jim Raymond grabbed my camera and started wasting film; our chaperon eventually had to come in and brake things up after he heard Josh Wyatt pounding my head against the wall

– having to do these goofy skits in front of everyone during our final continental breakfast at the hotel; I remember this because the big joke in our group’s skit was this epic burp I was suppose to unleash at a certain point; of course, when the time came, I choked, so instead I just did some kind of dumb Chevy Chase pratfall

– getting together with the female portion of our group in their room to discuss the aforementioned skit and being too nervous to really say anything (these girls were in their PAJAMAS still…OMG FTW FML LBJ)

– one of the buses breaking down on the way home and having to spend like twelve hours on the side of the road somewhere in Maryland; lots of mindless chanting ensued, and I believe at one point Jim Rumpf actually grabbed the bus driver’s microphone and tried to incite some kind of riot

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2 responses to “Highlights From My 8th Grade Field Trip To Washington, D.C.”

  1. Ross Davis says :

    Wow, to think that in my current profession I cater to groups like this every week! Go DC tourism.

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