My Letter To Uncle Sam For America Day

Dear Top Hat,

Hello there, how are you? I am okay. It doesn’t really feel like Independence Day this year. That’s probably because it’s been raining so much. Do you hang out with God or Jesus ever? If you do, you should ask them to let us have some sunshine sometime before Halloween this year. That would be nice.

I have tried to be a very good boy this year and not say anything bad about America. I took very good care of my flag and blew kisses to the President every time he came on TV. Once or twice I forgot to say the Pledge of Allegiance, but only because I was sick or because a Lady GaGa song came on the radio.

For Independence Day this year, I would like lots of fireworks and John Phillips Sousa and a little bulldog dressed up like you. I would also like you to give Donny Osmond a hit record, force Megan Fox to stop talking, find the people who killed O.J. Simpson’s wife, make the Star Wars prequels better, and bring Doug Henning back from the dead for one day so he can do more magic.

Here is a picture of Franklin Roosevelt I drew for you. I hope you like it.

Have fun and be careful visiting all the picnics and barbeques today. I LOVE YOU, UNCLE SAM!!!!

Love,

Jimmy G.

P.S. – My mommy said a swear yesterday, so don’t give her any war bonds.