Seth McFarlane Is Ghostwriting For Chuck Klosterman

At least that’s what I assume after reading Chuck’s painfully cheeky review of the remastered Beatles catalog. This snippet from the opening paragraph is indicative of the entire piece:

When the box arrived in the mail, I briefly considered smashing the entire unopened collection with a ball-peen hammer and throwing it into the mouth of a lion. But then, against my better judgment, I arbitrarily decided to give this hippie shit an informal listen. And I gotta admit—I’m impressed. This band was mad prolific.”

It’s a shame the only music this guy takes seriously involves Axl Rose or Gene Simmons. The world could really benefit from more honest, insightful dissections of music. Instead, fake shemp Peter Griffin carries out a laborious parade of hackneyed Fab Four jokes (no one liked Yoko, LOL!) and doesn’t even spare three words to discuss the actual sound of the discs (which is really their only selling point).

I hope they have some space left on the writing staff for “The Cleveland Show,” because that’s exactly where Klosterman’s gonna land if he keeps shit like this up. I’m sure he could think up lots of crazy, half-assed existential dialog for that anthropomorphic bear to say. I haven’t seen that show yet, I know next to nothing about it, but I’m sure it could use a subplot about an awkward guy who does drugs and listens to Oasis with a girl he wants to sleep with. I’d tune in to see that.

In conclusion, Chuck Klosterman probably won’t recover from this shark jump in my eyes, I don’t think that “Cleveland” spin off is going to be good at all, and I want to know how trippy “I Am The Walrus” sounds now that it’s been fucked up right for the 21st Century.

P.S. – Yes, I know I read the A.V. Club WAY too much.