Things That Need To Go Audi 5000 In 2011

– Juggalo-centric journalism

– the false notion that Twitter has “changed everything”

– false promises from Dr. Dre regarding Detox

– false praise / worship of anyone who just died

– the world forcing basic cable dramas down my throat

– Brett Favre penis controversies

– Manhattan chain restaurant controversies

– the trend of declaring yourself “Team” something

– the glut of cooking competition reality shows on basic cable

– “The Simpsons” (it’s limping into final season “Happy Days” badness)

– bed bugs

– people freaking their shit about bed bugs

– that Drake Sprite commercial

– curb crawlers

– crap cunts

– Conan O’Brien’s beard

– negative vibe merchants like this blog post