Giant Photo Of Unidentified Dorks At Neighborhood White Castle Raises Questions

Because I’m cheap and have no palette, sometimes I dine at White Castle. I went there today and couldn’t help but notice, as I sat there punishing my gastrointestinal tract, the above photo hanging in the dining room near one section of seating. Roughly the size of twelve Mona Lisas (or three, or one—I don’t know, I’ve never actually seen the Mona Lisa), this photo is titled “Four Guys” and was apparently taken in Columbus, Ohio, in 1981.

I suppose the whole point is that we’re not supposed to know specifically who these four guys are—they’re just regular ol’ folk like you and me who shared some laughs and some stomach cramps at a Midwestern White Castle location at the dawn of the Reagan Eighties.

Still, my curiosity could not be abated. Who were were strange figures, currently reigning as the two dimensional Mount Rushmore of my neighborhood’s least health-conscious food establishment? Are any of them still alive? Does this photo really represent a candid moment in time, or was it meticulously posed in a secluded studio somewhere far from Columbus, Ohio? What’s the guy with the glasses saying that’s cracking up his buddies so hard? Is he doing an impression of Jim from “Taxi?”

When I got home, I Googled “Four Guys White Castle Ohio 1981” and received endless pages of unrelated White Castle reviews (“No chipotle mayo! I’m never going back!”). Guess I’ll just have to fire off an e-mail to WC’s corporate overlords. Hopefully they can provide the concrete explanation I seek regarding the Four Guys.

It goes without saying that if one of the Four Guys is reading this he should immediately contact me and explain the circumstances surrounding what I have just decided is a legendary depiction of white lower middle class America. I must know if my hunch is correct that the guy second from right went by the nickname “Baby Bear” and had an impressive model plane collection.

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15 responses to “Giant Photo Of Unidentified Dorks At Neighborhood White Castle Raises Questions”

  1. Anonymous says :

    These guys were students at OSU at that time. I just noticed the poster tonight. We were actually in a Fraturnity together in the early 80’s

  2. jamesgreenejr says :

    O rly? Which fraternity?

  3. Anonymous says :

    Did you ever find out?

  4. Katy says :

    Did you ever find out?

  5. John says :

    Is it just me, or do the two guys in the middle look like brothers?

  6. OneOfTheGuys says :

    Picture taken at High St. restaurant location (south of 5th Ave) in Columbus after 3:00 am on a February Saturday morning. Ate at White Castle twice during college (when nothing else was open) – once was this night.

  7. Anthony Beck says :

    I believe they’re all actors or associated with movies or television, cause I myself has always wondered who they are and I know first guy looks like Timothy Hutton cause I know he wears glasses when reading and always has and then guy in the back and the one that’s second from right are both actors but can’t remember what I’ve seen them in but I know I’ve seen them in something.

  8. Booker T. says :

    The guy on the left, wearing glasses, and cracking up his buddies is a young Jim Carey.

  9. Michael Baumet says :

    The guy on the right is an exact replica of my son who was born in 98. I mean exact, it’s uncanny. I tease him about being a time traveler. I would like to know what he looks like now.

  10. ANGELO VETRANO says :

    Mystery Solved: the guy on the left is Jim Carey, way before becoming famous. He is next to his 3 high school buddies, Teddy and Jack Conroy, and their cousin William “Billy” Lynch.

    I knew these guys and they were really good guys. Jim was always a bit nutty as you can see him probably mocking one of his teachers. He was hilarious from way back.

  11. Anonymous says :

    My father is in this picture – I can confirm the description of events “OneOfTheGuys” and “Anonymous/2011“ gave below is accurate to my knowledge. Just normal guys being dudes in the wee hours of the morning.

  12. Anonymous says :

    I love photo it’s a classic I would like to get one I look at it every time I go in White Castle.

  13. Anonymous says :

    The famous four guys in Ohio.

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