Dr Pepper: We Are Not Affiliated With “South Park”

Dr Pepper’s Consumer Relations Department replied this evening to my inquiry regarding their beverage’s numerous unmistakable cameos on very recent episodes of “South Park,” spelling out in no uncertain terms that their company has nothing to do with the edgy comedy series what gave us talking poo logs and “ass to trout.” Quoteth the Good Doctor:

Dear Mr Greene Jr:

Thank you for contacting us about Dr Pepper. Your comments and inquiries are appreciated because they provide valuable feedback about our brands.

Please be advised we are not affiliated with South Park.

Our Company has been making great brands that make a splash for more than 100 years. We are proud of our family of products and are committed to providing a wide range of choices for all individuals.

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We hope that you will continue to purchase and enjoy our products.

Sincerely,

Consumer Relations”

Emphasis added. View a screencap of the e-mail here.

So, we assume now that Trey & Matt are either A) paying tribute to their favorite carbonated treat sans backend deal because they just love it that much or B) screwing with us in a not-so-subliminal way because after fifteen seasons they can’t think of any other way to be subversive? I’m not sure those dogs hunt. If you ask me, something is still kinda stank in Denmark.

Thus, the investigation continues. Stay tuned for future dispatches from what is currently my favorite rabbit hole.