The Angel Resembled Olivia Newton-John? You Don’t Say!

General Electric employee Hemy Neuman is currently on trial in Georgia for the 2010 shooting death of Russell Sneiderman, who was married to Neuman’s co-worker (and apparent object of intense affection) Andrea Sneiderman. Hemy’s defense? Angels n’ demons. The defendant is claiming a representative from each of those otherworldly factions visited him just prior to the murder to coax him into gunning Russell down (outside the preschool of the victim’s son, no less). According to Neuman, “the angel resembled Olivia Newton-John and the demon…sounded like Barry White.”

I’m sorry, Mr. Neuman, but you’re just going to have to be more specific. The last time anyone checked, all angels vaguely resemble Australia’s most radiant Xanadu graduate. Furthermore, I have yet to meet a demon who doesn’t sound like Barry White or some other foundation-shaking soul singer. Did either of these ostensibly glowing/floating characters bear any distinguishing marks, like a mole or a scar of some sort? Maybe they had a specific odor about them? Wet dog, new car? We just need a little more to go on besides the stereotypical descriptions you have already provided.

Also, shooting someone outside a preschool—we’re supposed to believe an angel told you to do that?