Early Nineties Dance Pop Is My Weakness

Picture it: The halls of Deltona High School, mid-afternoon, 1997. My friend Jeremy informs me MC Hammer’s about to drop a greatest hits record.

“What’s on that?” I snort. “‘U Can’t Touch This’ fifteen times?”

A look of surprise comes over Jeremy’s face.

“Are you saying ‘Yo Sweetness’ wasn’t a hit?”

That night I dig up my cassette copy of Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em, and this much becomes evident: “Yo Sweetness” is indeed a song I would consider of “hit” status in that it makes me do the Running Man, the Roger Rabbit, and the Patty Duke right there in the tiny confines of my dank teenage bedroom.

Well played, Jeremy. Even weller played, Hammer. Happy birthday to the both of you.