Serious Puppet Scandal 2012 Ends Before It Really Begins

Shortly after I posted my unsolicited musings on Elmogate news broke that the accuser had changed his story—he was not, in fact, under age when Kevin Clash began sexing him (and vice versa). Hey, fantastic, Mr. X remembered his birthday before he had to leak anymore salacious e-mail snippets. Now Elmo can go back to delighting children and annoying adult Muppet fetishists. Part of me is concerned abuse did take place and the accuser may have only switched his position because CTW buried him under a pile of money, but I’d be surprised in this post-Sandusky environment if anyone who truly felt victimized sexually could be bought off. At any rate, I think we can all agree the takeaway here is try not to date two decades outside your age group (especially if you work on motherfucking “Sesame Street”).