Two Hour Televised Nightmare Celebrates Anniversary

Today marks thirty-four years since CBS aired “The Star Wars Holiday Special,” that nefarious foray into the expanded universe of Skywalking what positions Chewbacca as a wookiee Ward Cleaver and suggests the music of Paul Kantner existed a long time ago in our favorite galaxy far, far away. This specific dusty chunk of nerd culture has been brutalized over the years by all manner of pop culture pundits and disbelieving ewok jockeys—there’s really nothing left to say. Let’s just pray there are no gentle nods or knowing winks to this joyless two hour malaise in Episode VII, lest we be reminded of Chewie’s grumpy father Attichitcuk (a.k.a. “Itchy”) using a virtual reality machine to watch disco erotica.