“Where Is The Rant On JJ / SW?”

This question courtesy of my good buddy Paul R. Porkchop. Indeed, where is my rant on the nerd-shattering news that J.J. Abrams (who I think we can all agree is most famous for his writing credit on Jim Belushi’s Taking Care of Business) will be directing Star Wars The Seventh: R2’s Folly? Oh, here it is:

I don’t have much to say about Abrams being appointed new pope of Star Wars beyond he’s the boring, obvious choice for such an endeavor but I guess you can’t blame Disney / LFL for hedging their bets. J.J. makes pretty solid entertainment even when he shits the bed. Still, when you think about some of the truly inspired or inspiring choices they could have made for Episode VII, watching the “Lost” guy get it is pretty deflating. Nothing could possibly be worse than the prequels, so what do they have to lose hiring, oh, I don’t know, M. Gondry or David Fincher?

Of course, we have no way of knowing right now where Abrams landed on the list of potential SW7 directors. Maybe the Disnuts offered it to one or two or five other filmmakers before Mr. Sexy Star Trek was invited aboard. It’ll be interesting once the film comes out to hear who may have turned this sucker down or couldn’t commit due to scheduling conflicts. Has fate saved the world from witnessing Tarantino’s adrenalin-soaked take on Lando Calrissian? The mind boggles at the thought.