Q: How Does It Feel To Have A Book Published?

A: Oh what, you mean this ol’ thing?

It doesn’t really feel like anything right now. Sure, I feel an acute satisfaction for having completed a work someone felt confident enough to kill x amount of trees over, but there hasn’t been enough of a reaction from readers yet for me to have any kind of major emotion. I knew the book would be out now in a limited hardcover with boutique pricing; it was my assumption that this part would come and go without much explosion. Ever since I found out This Music Leaves Stains will be released later on for “the trade market” (read: cheaper and in softcover) I’ve sort of been focused on that. Expect me to feel more feely feels after the price comes down and people have ostensibly had more exposure to the thing.

I’m also the type of fella who looks at his own creations and can really only see the mistakes or where things could have been better. Thus, even if a full thousand people read the book this month and all e-mail me to say, “Smashing job, chief,” it’d be nice but I’d still think, Man, why did I edit out such and such? or Well, that metaphor in chapter eight is still shit. I blame my father my mother television.

It was the same way a bit when I was offered the publishing deal in the first place. Everyone expected me to be dancing on the motherfucking ceiling, but upon receiving the acceptance e-mail I literally just leaned back in my chair and exhaled a really deep breath. My immediate thought was, “Well, now I have to write this thing. Can I even do that?”

Guess so, ’cause here we are.