Q: What Would You Name Your Kid If You Ever Had One?

A: Six months into every relationship I hand my girlfriend the following list of gender neutral proposed baby monikers. She is encouraged to circle (with a pencil) the ones she finds least offensive. Potential additions to the list may be submitted ten days later via affidavit.

Fruit Bat
Cassette Deck
Teri Garr

So far I’ve never been anywhere near the realm of having to whittle my selections down to a single name (this exercise in general is a fantastic pregnancy deterrent) but I imagine a game of dice would resolve any disputes that arise in the hours before birth.

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One response to “Q: What Would You Name Your Kid If You Ever Had One?”

  1. Agent 54 says :

    My choice is: The Previously Unamed, Bob.

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