Q: What’s The Worst Christmas Gift You’ve Ever Received?

A: This is almost too difficult to answer. At this stage in my life I look back and feel appreciative anyone would ever buy me anything.

That said, one year in college I received multiple copies of Who Moved My Cheese?, which is definitely a “we are trying to send you a message” gift (that message, of course, is “you have an attitude problem”). I didn’t read the whole thing but to be honest I don’t think I needed to read any of it. Just seeing Cheese? in double on my nightstand made me feel like I was royally messing up, so I started working a little harder (key phrase: a little) and successfully earned my degree in under ten years.

Thus, I suppose WMMC? worked for me…but I’d still like to see a timeline where I never received said tome. I have a gut feeling even absent this specific motivator I’d manage to avoid living in a dumpster as a college dropout/crack fiend.