Q: Judith Hoag Or Paige Turco?

A: The eternal debate…who is the better April O’Neil? I think it’s a draw. Granted, it’s been years since I’ve seen any single Ninja Turtle movie, but when reflecting upon various elements of that trilogy (foam rubber! time travel! Robbie Rist!) I don’t find myself having very strong feelings about either performance. They’re not the best part but they’re also not the worst. In the end, I believe(d) that both Hoag (Turtles I) and Turco (Turtles II & III) are / were April O’Neil, plucky tv journalist mixed up in a seamy underworld of anthropomorphic reptiles who know kung fu and love pizza. It’s not like Hook, where every second I’m aware of “Mork as Peter Pan.” So in that sense, both women succeed.

Now, if you’re asking me which Ninja Turtle has the best moves during the dance scene in Ninja Turtles II: Secret of The Ooze, I don’t think there’s any question Leonardo is the Paula Abdul of that shit.