Q: Who’s Your Favorite Wrestler Of All Time?

A: Junkyard Dog. He was my favorite growing up because he was affiliated with dogs, and as a kid I thought dogs were the most interesting animals on Earth (to the point that I remember watching television with my parents and constantly thinking, Why don’t they put more dogs on these shows? Why is this news person talking to another news guy when he could be talking to a dog?). JYD remains top tier in my heart because in addition to the canine thing he was pretty no frills and I’ve only heard decent things about his life outside the squared circle.

Runners up include Bret Hart (for his lifelong commitment to the jheri curl and hot pink), Stone Cold, that guy who wore the chinchilla(?) coat with the glitter-bombed Stormtrooper helmet, and Val Venis (because that name is more perverse than watching Jason Biggs wand a pie).