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Unsolicited Soundgarden King Animal Haiku Reviews

Big dumb riffs return!
Enough highs to justify
Ben Shepherd 4 LYFE.

“Attrition” Cult-like
get on your hog, your chopper
and fuckin’ ride, bra.

Draggy songs are saved
by uplifting choruses
and those big dumb riffs.

Chris Columbus Day Haikus

You discovered zilch
but you did write Gremlins 1
thanks for the day off!

Jingle All The Way?
I mean, what were you thinking?
thanks for the Jake Lloyd!

You should remake Juice
with Justin Bieber as Q
what else you doin’?

Unsolicited Teenage Bottlerocket Freak Out! Haiku Review

More bruiser pop punk
jokes about Yoda, Top Gun
as good as their last.

Unsolicited The Avengers Haiku Review

Okay, we get it
Iron Man loves “Thunderstruck”
What’s on Hulk’s iPod?

Unsolicited Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol Haiku Review

Mystery, intrigue
Tom Cruise’s insane hairpiece
better than Jaws 4.

Michael Bay Ninja Turtles Haiku

Here’s the real question:
Will we finally get Krang
voiced by R. Dreyfuss?

Unsolicited Blind Date Haiku Review

“Don’t let her drink, guy.”
lets her drink, they nearly die
will men ever learn?