Carl Switzer, the lovable scamp who played Alfalfa in the “Little Rascals” series, would have been eighty-five today. He would have been eighty-five had he not been fatally shot in the crotch in 1959 during a dispute over fifty dollars. Carl didn’t even survive the ride to the hospital, he bled so much. Switzer struck first, though, allegedly smashing a clock over the head of his friend Moses Stiltz after Moses refused to cough up the money (another account puts the time piece in the angry hands of Switzer’s associate, Jack Piott, who accompanied the actor to the scene). The amount in question pertained to Stiltz’s missing dog. Switzer, the dog’s trainer, doled out the reward money to a third party once the pooch was returned and wanted reimbursement from his friend. Stiltz felt that if Carl had properly trained the dog it wouldn’t have run away in the first place, so he could go screw with his fifty bucks. Sadly, Stiltz made his point with hot lead.

Let this be a lesson, folks—sometimes, you just gotta let shit go. Sometimes you’re gonna train your buddy’s dog to hunt and that dog is gonna run away and then you’re gonna have to pay the reward money to the person who brings him back and that’s just gonna have to be the end of it. It sucks, but that’s life. Do you really want to take a dick shot over fifty bones and some silly dog?