Tag Archive | bear

Have You Seen This Dog?

Perhaps you recognize him. His name is Bear, and for seven seasons he played the lovable Dreyfuss opposite Richard Mulligan on NBC’s “Empty Nest.” According to the webmaster of EmptyNestOnline.net, Bear’s current whereabouts are unknown (which is crazy, because that person’s kept tabs on Marsha Warfield AND Lise Rieffel).

I would like to ramp up the search for Bear as I think he was the most underrated dog in TV history and I’m very concerned about his post-fame life. I hope he’s not wandering the streets of St. Louis on a never-ending quest for edible garbage. I hope someone sweet it taking care of him. Someone get Richard Mulligan’s estate on the phone.

IF YOU have any information about the current whereabouts of Bear the Dog, please do not call Robert Stack or “Unsolved Mysteries.” That show’s been off the air forever. Just e-mail me, alright?

A Real Conversation I Just Had

JP = John Piacquadio; ME = Me.

ME: Do you know how Chewbacca died?
JP: Nooooo, Chewbacca didn’t die!
ME: Yeah, in the Expanded Universe. Do you know how? Guess. What do you think killed Chewbacca?
JP: Ah…was it something he ate?
ME: [Laughing] No, it wasn’t something he ate.
JP: How’d he die?
ME: He was crushed to death by a moon.
JP: Ha! It took an entire dwarf planet to take him down!
ME: Yeah! He was rounding up Han Solo’s kids on some planet—
JP: [Laughing] Because he has so many of them!
ME: Well, two, at least. Anyway, Chewbacca’s trying to get them off the planet before this moon crashes into it, only he didn’t make it off the planet in time.
JP: Damn.
ME: Yeah.
JP: Did you hear about that bear from the Will Ferrell movie?
ME:

For more on Chewbacca’s incredibly awesome death, read this.