Or “Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About The Misfits Book I’m Writing That I Can Tell You At The Moment.”

Q: What qualifies you to write a book about the Misfits?

A: I’ve been an obsessive fan of theirs for fifteen years, and I’ve been known on occasion to string together sentences that aren’t peppered with totally outlandish or corny jokes. Because I care enough to try and make it the greatest book about the Misfits ever?

Q: Who’s publishing it?

A: Scarecrow Press.

Q: What’s your angle?

A: This book will tell the complete story of the Misfits while also examining the impact the band had on rock music at large.

Q: Are you gonna write about the stuff they did without Danzig?

A: See above. “Complete story.”

Q: Have you tried to interview Danzig yet?

A: I have reached out to every individual I’m aware of with known relation to the Misfits. The only other thing I can say about that currently is in the year I’ve been working on this book, only one person has flat-out refused to talk to me, and it wasn’t Danzig.

Q: When’s the book gonna be out?

A: I don’t know yet. I still have to write most of it.

Q: Can I get a free copy?

A: No.

Q: What’s the title gonna be?

A: I don’t know yet. Probably not Buff Dudes From Jersey Make Cool Music or The Fantabulous Brain Eaters of Bergen County.