Tag Archive | corporate bullshit
December 18, 2013  

Possible Jamming Scenarios For The KISS/Nirvana Rock & Roll HOF Induction Ceremony

– Peter Criss and Ace Frehley join the Foo Fighters for eighteen minute “Strutter”/”Beth”/”RNR All Nite” medley

– acoustic run through of “About a Girl” featuring Paul Stanley on lead vocals, Krist Novoselic on squeeze box

– current KISS lineup plays “Come As You Are” in full costume w/ Dave Grohl (wearing Vinnie Vincent’s makeup) on vocals

– Criss/Frehley lead “ex member” jam of “Endless Nameless” featuring Chad Channing, Vinnie Vincent, Dan Peters, Dale Crover, and Bruce Kulick

– Foo Fighters play Animalize in its entirety w/ Sir Paul McCartney doing backup vocals

– surviving KISSes/Nirvanas hire Girl Talk to play thirty minute mashup of every song both band ever wrote

June 28, 2010  

In Which Hamilton Nolan Nails It

Writing about the rag pictured at right:

…They have constructed themselves upon the bizarre and defunct notion that mixing solid public affairs journalism with Britney Spears covers and paeans to plastic pop music is a formula for publishing success. It isn’t, any more. Whereas once people would have rushed out to newsstands to pick up copies of Rolling Stone and read what all fuss was about with McChrystal, now they either A) read that one single story on RS’s website, for free, or B) read it at the competition’s website for free…

“Rolling Stone—and Esquire, and Vanity Fair, for that matter—put out stories that are just as good as the stories in The New Yorker, The Atlantic, or any other high temple of journalism. But those stories are interspersed with such a great quantity of formulaic celebrity profiles and grooming tips that one is unable to take the magazine as a whole seriously. Everyone knows that you don’t need to subscribe to Rolling Stone in order to read the five great stories they publish every year; just wait until you hear those stories mentioned elsewhere and check in then.”

Preach on, brother man.

March 3, 2009  

McJustice

A story is shooting around the blogosphere right now about this lady in Fort Pierce, FL, who called 911 on Saturday when her local McDonald’s ran out of Chicken McNuggets. The actions of Latreasa Goodman are being painted as typical low income Florida crazy by snickering, snarky Internet jockeys, but everyone seems to be missing a pretty big point: the McDonald’s in question didn’t just run out of McNuggets, they ran out of McNuggets and refused to give Latreasa a refund. Quotheth Goodman:

I ordered chicken nuggets. They don’t have chicken nuggets, and so I told [the cashier], ‘Just give me my money back,’ and she tells me I have to pick something else off the menu. She is not going to give me my money back, and she don’t have the right to take my money.”

Now, look. I’m not saying it’s cool to dial up emergency services every time some grease flinger tries to bully you into a Big n’ Tasty, but sometimes you just can’t take any more corporate bullshit and you gotta roll extreme in order to correct injustice. That’s what Latreasa did, and even though she might look crazy to the rest of the country, she eventually got her refund AND an invitation to come back for her original order free of charge from regional McDonald’s operations manager Carlos Solorzano. Yeah, Latreasa Goodman’s crazy…LIKE A FOX.

This story hits home with me today because I’ve spent a good portion of the past forty-eight hours going back and forth with various nasty IRS representatives who claim my 2008 tax refund wasn’t direct deposited into my checking account because I provided the wrong routing number with my tax forms DESPITE confirmation on two separate occasions that the numbers I wrote down for Uncle Sam match the same little numbers at the bottom of all my fruity pink dolphin checks. After being dragged through psychological hell by the absolute dregs of mouth-breathing call center society, it’s nice to see the little guy win at least one round somewhere else.

Hey, IRS—chew my lint, you flubber-sucking cubicle amoebas.

While we’re on the subject of McDonald’s food items that may or may not exist, I present for your consideration the McGangBang. I almost want to get a video camera myself and see how many Mickey Dee’s around the city will actually whip one of those up for me.