Tag Archive | Das Racist

JG2’s Top Ten Albums & Singles Of 2011 (Annotated Edition)

Previously published sans annotation here. This year’s lists are dedicated to Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua (pictured, left), who died a couple years ago and has yet to receive a proper tribute in this country. Yes, I’m currently petitioning Congress to make her birthday a national holiday.

JG2’s TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2011

1. Turbo A.C.’s – Kill Everyone

2011’s greatest monument to that archaic concept of rock n’ roll and the trash culture that surrounds it. Key phrases from my original review of Kill Everyone: “crushing,” “foreboding,” “hot asphalt,” “heart-bruising melodies,” “wounded pride,” “punk aching,” and “zeal.” If these guys turn out to be stockbrokers who own property in Westchester County, I will lose all faith in humanity/art.

2. Anal Cunt – Fuckin’ A

Seth Putnam’s final stand unfurls itself as a twisted tribute to whiskey-soaked, crotch-rubbing hard rock circa 1984. Is it genuine or a complete piss take? The jury’s still out on that, but Fuckin’ A works as a curious buffer between the shrieky atonal hell of Anal Cunt’s normal grindcore and the grimy bombast of Mötley Crüe and Quiet Riot. The most accessible (not to mention most fun) record ever to bear the name Anal Cunt.

3. Lou Reed & Metallica – Lulu

Lou collaborates with the rock band we all assume is least aligned with his sensibilities and creates something that’s almost as deliciously painful as Metal Machine Music. Both parties must be commended for fully committing to their ridiculous union, a Waterworld for the iPod generation.

4. Pusrad – Smarttrams

This EP of jagged hardcore punk from Sweden is only two minutes long, but it leaves some serious road burn. Pusrad manage to display a surprising amount of dexterity in their attack, leaving one to wonder why all music of this nature can’t be as boisterous.

5. Screeching Weasel – First World Manifesto

One of the most focused and fulfilling entries of Screeching Weasel’s career. Unfortunately, buffoonery at the hands of Ben Weasel derailed any momentum First World had going, so it’ll probably take a few years for devoted pop punkers to place it in their minds next to previous towering SW efforts.

6. Megadeth – Thirteen

Of course thirteen would be a lucky number for this band previously obsessed with the occult, nuclear destruction, and religious jihads. Fantastic production allows Megadeth to stretch their legs a tad and gallop along at satisfying paces that don’t embarrass them. Also, they made a video with monkeys.

7. Das Racist – Relax

The Stephen Wrights of rap nail their debut album with lackadaisical but funny rhymes over beats that alternately accost and amuse. Lazy opportunists or dada novelty? Doesn’t matter when the returns are this high.

8. Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee Part Two

The Beasties can get away with an album of 1980s Afrika Bambaataa video game noises because they lived through that era. As insular as Hot Sauce initially sounds, it’s ultimately a party record (even when Nas shows up).

9. Foo Fighters – Wasting Light

The big stupid white bread hooky arena rock record every year needs. Plenty of gusto to match the melody.

10. Black Dahlia Murder – Ritual

As I insisted before, BDM “effortlessly massage enormous amounts of feeling and harmony into their fist-clenching anthems of anger, pestilence, pain, and suffering.” 2011 offered no better soundtrack for all night Call of Duty finger-mashing sessions fueled by candy and energy drinks.

JG2’s TOP TEN SINGLES OF 2011

1. Baby Metal – “ド・キ・ド・キ☆モーニング (Freaky Morning)”

Death metal/grindcore is finally co-opted by J-Pop, and the results are life-affirming.

2. Anal Cunt – “Crankin’ My Band’s Demo On A Box At The Beach”

The imagery the chorus conjures up is hilarious. Can anyone imagine these guys going to the beach in the first place, let alone subjecting surfers to this noise as if it were Van Halen’s “Panama?”

3. Turbo A.C.’s – “Die Tomorrow”

Mainly for this lyrical gem: “Say you wanna die, but I think you’re a liar/I’ve never seen you at a Gray’s Papaya.”

4. Das Racist – “Michael Jackson”

Mainly for this lyrical gem: “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ great at rapping!”

5. Loutallica – “The View”

What, did you think this Loutallica record wasn’t gonna sound like they were making it up as they go along?

6. Beastie Boys – “Lee Majors Come Again”

The Beasties can still get all 1992 on your ass if they really feel like it.

7. Nicki Minaj – “Super Bass”

Yeah, she’s fuckin’ great at rapping.

8. Foo Fighters – “White Limo”

The Foos mainline the Cult and make you hard / wet with anticipation.

9. The Black Dahlia Murder – “Conspiring With The Damned”

Hey, this death metal isn’t giving me a headache yet!

10. Avril Lavigne – “What The Hell”

Everybody likes a little cotton candy.

Team Coco Meets Das Racist, Summarily Rejects Them

“Conan’s” been on TBS for over a year now, and it’s been hard to admit lately that I’m still with Coco because the vibe of his current installment has unfolded as broad and showbizzy (example: they literally play “Name That Tune” sometimes). So imagine my surprise Monday when I learned back-of-the-class hip hop jokesters Das Racist were billed as the program’s musical guest for that evening. Anticipation immediately stirred within me. Surely DR’s East Coast sensibility (read: they’re New York oddballs who give no fucks) would somehow poison the safe “Let’s Make a Deal” vibe that generally cocoons the L.A.-based “Conan.”

As you can see, Das Racist turned in a television debut worthy of their rep: Heems and Victor lazily reciting the lyrics to their claustrophobic single “Michael Jackson” before bringing out an actual MJ impersonator to bust a move over some freaky break beats. Fun stuff, I thought, but the majority of Team Coco appears to disagree. The show’s Facebook page quickly filled up in the hours after the program with comments from cranky fans decrying Das Racist as “horrible” and “disgusting” and “the worse [sic] music group” the show’s ever booked. Hey, c’mon gang, play fair. You can’t really level the “worst ever” accusation at anyone when Cobra Starship’s been on “Conan” at least twice.

For the record, people on Twitter are being even more dramatic:

I’ll admit this Das Racist performance didn’t live up to the greatness of the studio version of “Michael Jackson,” but it was still visually enticing, audibly interesting, and leagues more entertaining than the Jason Segel interview (“Hey Conan, does America know I’m obsessed with puppets yet?”). I don’t know who it was that got DR on “Conan” when they don’t have a record deal and their most recent release is three months old—probably the same person who snagged that super reclusive king of musical mope Morrissey for tonight’s show—but they deserve a raise.

Unsolicited Haiku Reviews Of Das Racist, Charred Walls Of The Damned, Anthrax

Das Racist – Relax

Joke rappers grow up?
Just enough to bore at times
Party’s still hype, though.

Charred Walls of the Damned – Cold Winds on Timeless Days

Clenched anus metal
Could be lost “Metroid” soundtrack
Drums are awesome (duh).

Anthrax – Worship Music

Shades of ’88
Band’s tight, Joey B rocks it
Worth a buck or two.