Tag Archive | Death Pool

2008 JG2Land Death Pool-O-Rama (Lama-Ding-Dong) Officially Over

Well, it’s April 4, 2009, which means the 2008 JG2Land Death Pool Of Death is officially, totally, and completely over. The winner, with a hefty 65 points, is LeMar M. Congrats, LeMar. You win either lunch on me at a reasonably priced restaurant or a copy of Strange Brew on VHS (retail price: $35 in 1983). Choose wisely!

Let’s look at the final standings:

LeMar M. – 65
Nathan C. – 16
John P. – 13
Me – 8
Andy C. – 0

No question, LeMar dominated this game by correctly predicting three big point-earning ’08 deaths – Paul Newman, George Carlin, and Eartha Kitt. The rest of us just got lucky with one expiration apiece (Nathan had Chuck Heston, John scored with James Whitmore, and I got in there thanks to Van Johnson). I think Andy’s skew towards irreverence (read: Wink Martindale, Peter Mayhew) cost him, but I will give him eternal credit for entering Dakota Fanning’s name into regular play. See who everybody had in this post.

I hope everybody had fun with this year’s death pool. Stay tuned for JG2Land Death Pool 2009 Part III: 2 Fast, 2 Furious, 2 Legit To Quit. It’ll make the 2008 death pool look like a game of table tennis!

James Whitmore: 1921-2009

Shrine Auditorium

James Whitmore, the character actor best known for playing lovable old codger Brooks Hatlen in the 1994 prison epic The Shawshank Redemption, died yesterday at the tender age of 87. Lung cancer laid the smack down on this fixture of early television’s sweet, wonderful ass.

Not many people can count both “Chevron Hall Of Stars” and “CSI” among their credits. Respect to you, James Whitmore. I’m sorry I kept confusing you with Richard Widmark for all those years. Hopefully you won’t begrudge me for that in the afterlife.

John P. had Jimmy Whit in the 2008 JG2Land Death Pool Of Death, delivering him a big-ass thirteen points. That brings the current tally to:

LeMar M. – 65
Nathan C. – 16
John P. – 13
Me – 8
Andy C. – 0

Only two months left. Will anyone be able to topple LeMar and his sickening lead? Maybe, if tragedy befalls Jared Leto or Dakota Fanning. Stay tuned, fans of the macabre!

Van Johnson: 1916-2008

van_johnsonVan Johnson, the blond heartthrob who set 1940s female undergarments afire with turns in some of the biggest movies of that decade, died today at the age of 92. The Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo and Brigadoon star passed away after a serious bout with old age at an assisted living facility in Nyack, NY.

I was convinced this day would never come, but here we are. Van Johnson is dead, and I’m finally in the death pool with a big eight points. I’m shocked.

Johnson played opposite some true motion picture greats in his day—Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, and Clark Gable, just to name a few. Yet Hollywood immortality escaped the Van Man, whose extensive filmography includes the following Troy McClure-like entries:

Too Many Girls
Two Girls and a Sailor
Three Guys Named Mike
Confidentially Connie
Divorce American Style
Murder in an Etruscan Cemetery
Taxi Killer
Clowning Around

The first person to correctly guess which one of these movies features Van’s final acting performance (and Heath Ledger’s first!) wins a hard slap across the face from yours truly.

Van Johnson chose an unfortunate time to expire—one day after ’50s sex icon Bettie Page, Unless something crazy comes out in the next few hours (i.e. Van killed the Black Dahlia, Van was the second gunman, Van left everything to Britney Spears, etc), this news will fade away like so many of his biggest features. Damn the injustice of it all. VJ had talent, fer chrissake! He had it coming out every pore. He deserves not to be forgotten.

On the other hand, Bettie Page was fucking hot as shit. I mean, come on, look at this shit:

bettie-page-color1

Jesus H.

Recapping the official 2008 JG2Land Sleazetastic Death Pool-O-Rama scores:

LeMar M. – 46
Nathan C. – 16
Me – 8
Everybody Else – 0

Here’s to you, Van. Maybe I’ll dye my hair blond tomorrow and pretend I’m not gay when I really am in your honor.

Paul Newman: 1925-2008

Paul Newman, the American acting and salad dressing legend who once gave my dad the finger after JG1 offered to buy him a drink in a Connecticut bar, is dead. The culprit? Cancer, that conniving conundrum of killing that cuts down corn fields of Camericans cevery csingle cday. Newman was 83.

LeMar had P-P-P-Paulie-O String Cheese in this blog’s Totally Rockin’ 2008 Death Pool-O-Rama (In Color!), adding seventeen points to his already commanding lead of twenty-nine. That brings the current scores to:

LeMar M. – 46
Nathan C. – 16
Everybody Else – 0

Remember, number of points is determined by the person’s age subtracted from one hundred. I don’t remember what happens when someone dies at 100 or 102. The world explodes, I think.

This would be a great time to link a useful website Death Pool participant John P. alerted me to the other day:

Who Is Alive And Who Is Dead

As the name suggests, this database can tell you instantly if someone famous is alive or dead. Chris Farley? Dead. Van Johnson? Somehow, inexplicably, still alive. Curse you, Van Johnson.

Death Pool Update

The following people, none of whom anyone had in JG2’s 2008 Death Pool-O-Rama Sponsored By Bud Light & E-Trade, died recently:

Danny Federici (b. 1950), the organ/glockenspiel/accordion player for the E Street Band. I didn’t even know the E Street band had a glockenspiel or an accordion. Shows you how closely I’ve been following Bruce Springsteen and his musical exploits. Melanoma felled Danny’s glocken-ass on April 17th.

Al Wilson (b. 1939), the soul singer most famous for “Show and Tell.” Kidney failure dropped Al and his showin’/tellin’ abilities like a bad habit on April 21st.

Paul Davis (b. 1948), another singer. He sang some ballad from the seventies called “I Go Crazy.” I never heard it. Maybe it’s the most kick-ass song ever recorded. Maybe it sucks burnt toast. I really couldn’t tell you. A heart attack, heart attack, man, literally stopped Paul dead in his bearded tracks on April 22nd.

Albert Hofmann (b. 1906), the Swiss chemist who invented LSD. Dude, the colors! Hofmann was 102 years old, which actually would have subtracted points from any player’s score and started most of us out in Negative Land. Once again, a heart attack was to blame, brought Albert’s long, strange trip to an end on April 29th.

Beverlee McKinsey (b. 1940), a soap opera actress. “Guiding Light,” “Another World,” all that jazz. Kidney transplant complications ended Bev’s run on May 2nd.

Irv Robbins (b. 1917), the co-founder of Baskin Robbins ice cream chain. I think he died of shock following the success of “Thirty-One Cent Scoop Night” on April 30th. Alas, his family claims a “long illness” was to blame for Irv’s May 5th death. Liars.

Who will be next? Stay tuned and watch out! Nathan C. can’t hold onto his sixteen point lead forever!

Death Pool

The Second Annual JG2 Death Pool-O-Rama (in Color!) has officially begun. Below you will find an index of all the participants and their picks. Asterisks indicate tie-breakers. Tie-breakers shall only come in to play if two or more participants have the same exact score when the game ends on 4/1/09. Remember, players, murdering anyone on your list will result in immediate disqualification.

The oldest person in regular play is actor Norman Lloyd. The youngest? Dakota Fanning. Scoring is based on the person’s age subtracted from a hundred. Let’s take a look now at who everyone has…

Nathan C:

Andy Griffith (born June 1, 1926)
Martin Landau (born June 20, 1931)
Charlton Heston (born October 4, 1923)
Walter Cronkite (born November 4, 1916)
Kirk Douglas (born December 9, 1916)
Zsa Zsa Gabor (born February 6, 1917)
Fidel Castro (born August 13, 1926)
Amy Winehouse (born 14 September 1983)
Dick Clark (born November 30, 1929)*
Mickey Rooney (born September 23, 1920)*

Andy C:

Wink Martindale (born December 4, 1934)
Dick Clark (born November 30, 1929)
Dakota Fanning (born February 23, 1994)
Joan Rivers (born June 8, 1933)
Bruce Jenner (born October 28, 1949)
Scott Weiland (born October 27, 1967)
Peter Mayhew (born May 19, 1944)
Kirk Douglas (born December 9, 1916)
Terrell Owens (born December 7, 1973)*
Casey Kasem (born April 27, 1932)*

JG2:

Harry Morgan (born April 10, 1915)
Van Johnson (born August 25, 1916)
Steve-O (born June 13, 1974)
Tracy Morgan (born November 10, 1968 )
Jared Leto (born December 26, 1971)
Phyllis Diller (born July 17, 1917)
Michael Jackson (born August 29, 1958 )
Mary-Kate Olsen (born June 13, 1986)
Ed Asner (born November 15, 1929)*
Dick Miller (born December 25, 1928)*

Lamar M:

Peter O’Toole (born August 2, 1932)
Berry Gordy (born November 28, 1929)
George Carlin (born May 12, 1937)
Eartha Kitt (born January 17, 1927)
Tom Sizemore (born September 29, 1964)
Harry Carey, Jr. (born May 16, 1921)
Mickey Rooney (born September 23, 1920)
Blake Edwards (born July 26, 1922)
Paul Newman (born January 26, 1925)*
Clint Eastwood (born May 31, 1930)*

John P.

Wilfred Brimley (born September 27, 1934)
Angela Lansbury (born October 16, 1925)
Walter Kronkite (born November 4, 1916)
Maya Angelou (born April 4, 1928 )
Yogi Berra (born May 12, 1925)
James Whitmore (born October 1, 1921)
Nancy Reagan (born on July 6, 1921)
Norman Lloyd (born November 8, 1914)
Pope Benedict XVI (born on April 16, 1927)*
Lemmy Kilmister (born on December 24, 1945)*

These lists look pretty solid. I predict a tight race. I shall keep all participants and interested parties abreast of celebrity deaths and their effect on the game via this blog. Who will win the coveted Outback Steakhouse Gift Certificate/”Full House: Season 2″ DVD set/vintage Boo Berry shirt/some other piece of crap worth thirty bones? Only time will tell. Good luck to all the players and happy vulturing!