Tag Archive | Foo Fighters

JG2’s Top Ten Albums & Singles Of 2011 (Annotated Edition)

Previously published sans annotation here. This year’s lists are dedicated to Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua (pictured, left), who died a couple years ago and has yet to receive a proper tribute in this country. Yes, I’m currently petitioning Congress to make her birthday a national holiday.

JG2’s TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2011

1. Turbo A.C.’s – Kill Everyone

2011’s greatest monument to that archaic concept of rock n’ roll and the trash culture that surrounds it. Key phrases from my original review of Kill Everyone: “crushing,” “foreboding,” “hot asphalt,” “heart-bruising melodies,” “wounded pride,” “punk aching,” and “zeal.” If these guys turn out to be stockbrokers who own property in Westchester County, I will lose all faith in humanity/art.

2. Anal Cunt – Fuckin’ A

Seth Putnam’s final stand unfurls itself as a twisted tribute to whiskey-soaked, crotch-rubbing hard rock circa 1984. Is it genuine or a complete piss take? The jury’s still out on that, but Fuckin’ A works as a curious buffer between the shrieky atonal hell of Anal Cunt’s normal grindcore and the grimy bombast of Mötley Crüe and Quiet Riot. The most accessible (not to mention most fun) record ever to bear the name Anal Cunt.

3. Lou Reed & Metallica – Lulu

Lou collaborates with the rock band we all assume is least aligned with his sensibilities and creates something that’s almost as deliciously painful as Metal Machine Music. Both parties must be commended for fully committing to their ridiculous union, a Waterworld for the iPod generation.

4. Pusrad – Smarttrams

This EP of jagged hardcore punk from Sweden is only two minutes long, but it leaves some serious road burn. Pusrad manage to display a surprising amount of dexterity in their attack, leaving one to wonder why all music of this nature can’t be as boisterous.

5. Screeching Weasel – First World Manifesto

One of the most focused and fulfilling entries of Screeching Weasel’s career. Unfortunately, buffoonery at the hands of Ben Weasel derailed any momentum First World had going, so it’ll probably take a few years for devoted pop punkers to place it in their minds next to previous towering SW efforts.

6. Megadeth – Thirteen

Of course thirteen would be a lucky number for this band previously obsessed with the occult, nuclear destruction, and religious jihads. Fantastic production allows Megadeth to stretch their legs a tad and gallop along at satisfying paces that don’t embarrass them. Also, they made a video with monkeys.

7. Das Racist – Relax

The Stephen Wrights of rap nail their debut album with lackadaisical but funny rhymes over beats that alternately accost and amuse. Lazy opportunists or dada novelty? Doesn’t matter when the returns are this high.

8. Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee Part Two

The Beasties can get away with an album of 1980s Afrika Bambaataa video game noises because they lived through that era. As insular as Hot Sauce initially sounds, it’s ultimately a party record (even when Nas shows up).

9. Foo Fighters – Wasting Light

The big stupid white bread hooky arena rock record every year needs. Plenty of gusto to match the melody.

10. Black Dahlia Murder – Ritual

As I insisted before, BDM “effortlessly massage enormous amounts of feeling and harmony into their fist-clenching anthems of anger, pestilence, pain, and suffering.” 2011 offered no better soundtrack for all night Call of Duty finger-mashing sessions fueled by candy and energy drinks.

JG2’s TOP TEN SINGLES OF 2011

1. Baby Metal – “ド・キ・ド・キ☆モーニング (Freaky Morning)”

Death metal/grindcore is finally co-opted by J-Pop, and the results are life-affirming.

2. Anal Cunt – “Crankin’ My Band’s Demo On A Box At The Beach”

The imagery the chorus conjures up is hilarious. Can anyone imagine these guys going to the beach in the first place, let alone subjecting surfers to this noise as if it were Van Halen’s “Panama?”

3. Turbo A.C.’s – “Die Tomorrow”

Mainly for this lyrical gem: “Say you wanna die, but I think you’re a liar/I’ve never seen you at a Gray’s Papaya.”

4. Das Racist – “Michael Jackson”

Mainly for this lyrical gem: “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ great at rapping!”

5. Loutallica – “The View”

What, did you think this Loutallica record wasn’t gonna sound like they were making it up as they go along?

6. Beastie Boys – “Lee Majors Come Again”

The Beasties can still get all 1992 on your ass if they really feel like it.

7. Nicki Minaj – “Super Bass”

Yeah, she’s fuckin’ great at rapping.

8. Foo Fighters – “White Limo”

The Foos mainline the Cult and make you hard / wet with anticipation.

9. The Black Dahlia Murder – “Conspiring With The Damned”

Hey, this death metal isn’t giving me a headache yet!

10. Avril Lavigne – “What The Hell”

Everybody likes a little cotton candy.

The Worst Albums Of 2007

Like most human beings alive between the years of 2003 and 2006, I have a Myspace profile. I kept a blog there before I started this one, and you know what? A lot of what I wrote there was really interesting / funny / much better than the crap I’ve been writing here lately. So I’m going to begin intermittently resurrecting entries from that blog on JG2Land, so that they may live on in a non-creepy social networking / stalking environment. Here’s Zombie Myspace Blog Entry #1:

TOP TEN WORST ALBUMS OF 2007

Because my friend Jennifer asked nicely, here are my picks for the worst albums of 2007.

1. The Libertines – Time For Heroes: The Best Of The Libertines

I made my disdain for the Libertines clear in this slightly controversial Crawdaddy! piece. I stand by everything I said before; you legally should not be allowed to release a greatest hits album after only two regular studio albums, they sound like a wet napkin anyway, and Pete Doherty is a scab-covered danger to kittens.

2. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible

I liked ’em better the first time…when they were called XTC. Great, now I owe David Spade eight bucks. This album makes me feel empty and sad, like Bud Bowl (or if I saw a literal arcade on fire). I don’t think I’ll ever get the whole mopey, depressed pop thing.

3. The Stooges – The Weirdness

They didn’t just phone this one in—they faxed it in. Telegraph, possibly. Pony Express? Much like The Phantom Menace, I saw the crushing disappointment coming a mile away here. Yeah, five rich dudes in their fifties are totally gonna be able to rock like it’s 1968 again, no problem! Assholes.

4. Insane Clown Posse – The Tempest

All five or six joker’s cards have been revealed, so now these guys are rapping about roller coasters. Okay, whatever. This actually may be brilliant. It’s kind of hard to tell. I have a feeling a lot of history will have to go by before we can accurately assess ICP and their legacy. For now, though, this quasi-Six Flags commercial can jog the hell off.

5. Avril Lavigne – The Best Damn Thing

This bitch makes Miley Cyrus look like Joan Baez. I’m pretty sure she lives at Claire’s Accessories and exclusively eats at Nature’s Table. If Avril leaves her enchanted home at the Toronto Mall, she loses all her special powers!

6. Poison – Poison’d!

Like being at the State Fair, only without the stale cigarette smoke and mild nausea!

7. Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace

The only reason Steve Albini called Smashing Pumpkins the REO Speedwagon of 90s alternative rock is because the Foo Fighters hadn’t become a band yet. How much more generic FM modern rock slurry can these dudes pump out? It’s getting harder and harder to believe Dave Grohl used to be in Nirvana.

8. R.E.M. – R.E.M. Live

How come there’s only like two songs I know on this one? WTF? LOL. No one wants to hear live versions of post-Monster material. You’re lucky the crowd cheered that hard when you started playing “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” Stop pushing your luck, fellas.

9. Rob Zombie – Zombie Live

I hate to dog my boy here, but this just seemed extraneous. It’s not like Rob Zombie is all that different live than he is on record. Call me when you bust out the Casio or the mouth harp, bro ham.

10. Rivers Cuomo – Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo

This would seem appropriate if Rivers Cuomo died six years ago. Seeing as he’s still alive and squirming, this ego stroker just reinforces the fact Riv thinks he’s the Brian Wilson / Syd Barrett / Wilhelm Wagner of gooey Generation Y fuzz pop. Too bad his maudlin jams come closer to some Muppety seventies bullshit (I knew there was a reason he was hanging out with Kermit the Frog so much).