Q: What’s going on with your book?

A: I turned in the first draft of the manuscript to the publisher, Scarecrow Press, a couple weeks ago. They’re gonna get back to me in a month to let me know what parts they think suck and what parts they think are good. Then I guess I’ll bust out a second draft, see if they like that better.

Q: So when the heck will this thing be out?

A: Next year some time. No clue what “quarter,” as they say in the industry.

Q: What’s it called?

A: I’m still pleading the fifth on this one. I don’t want to make any public announcement until I’m one hundred percent certain I’ve got the perfect title. As of this writing, I’m only about eighty-five percent certain.

Q: Will it be available on Kindle / Nook / other e-readers?

A: I’m not sure. I would hope so. If not, you’re just gonna have to read it the old fashioned way.

Q: Will it be available as an audio book?

A: Only if I can get someone really cool to read it, like Bernie Casey. Bernie Casey’s into the Misfits, right?

Q: Will there be pictures?

A: Yeah, but not many. It turns out photographers usually want money for the exclusive right to publish their work in a book. Being a freelance writer living in New York City, my financial situation makes Fred Sanford look affluent. Thus, I could only obtain a handful of (admittedly awesome, high quality, and sorta never-been-seen-before) photos of the Misfits from their glory years. That’s okay, though, because it’s supposed to be a book anyway. If I write it all good-like, you’ll be able to envision perfectly what all these talented cretins look / looked like.

Q: Wait a minute, you’re still poor? What happened to that big shit advance from the publisher? Did you gamble it all away or lose it at a gas station or something?

A: There was no big shit advance. Scarecrow Press is an academic publisher. Academic publishers don’t throw wads of cash at you upfront—instead, they give you creative freedom, and you acquire revenue later from sales of the book. If this thing sells x amount of copies, I get y amount of dollars. I’ll admit I was a little bummed when I found out I wouldn’t be receiving a massive check with a stupid amount of zeroes off the bat. However, I wouldn’t trade the artistic autonomy I’ve had so far for any amount of lettuce.

Q: Are you gonna do readings or a tour when the book comes out?

A: Yeah, probably. I never got to tour when I was a struggling college musician of negligible talent, so I’m looking forward to spending maybe a week or two sleeping on people’s floors and feeling disoriented in cities I usually never visit like Boston and Pittsburgh.

Q: Something something Danzig’s cats.

A: I know, isn’t it crazy that a famous person has house pets? Seriously though, I bet one of those cats is named Mordecai.