Tag Archive | Mark Linn-Baker

Unsolicited Bartokomousin’ Across Eight Seasons Of “Perfect Strangers”

– Hulu recently added “Perfect Strangers” to its streaming stable; my first question after spinning the episode wheel for about a week straight is, since Bronson Pinchot’s Balki is just a sanitized version of the brief but memorable role he plays in Beverly Hills Cop, do you think “Perfect Strangers” ever tried to get Eddie Murphy to make a guest appearance? Also, do you think anyone from Beverly Hills Cop chagrins Bronson Pinchot for spinning this character into television, even though legend tells us Pinchot himself improvised it while filming Beverly Hills Cop? Do you think they ever asked Judge Reinhold to be on “Perfect Strangers?”

– the chemistry between Pinchot’s affable, earnest Balki and Mark Linn-Baker’s cynical, beleaguered Cousin Larry is often utterly crackerjack; when the writing plays to their strengths the laughs flow like water and you can see how this goddamn thing ran for eight seasons; this is probably how “Perfect Strangers” survived so many supporting cast hiccups (the actress who plays Twinkacetti’s wife in the first two seasons returns in the third as an unrelated newspaper gossip columnist; very confusing if you’re watching “PS” totally out of order on a Tuesday night, face deep in kung pow chicken)

– yes, there is an episode of this program in which Balki is accidentally hypnotized into believing he is Elvis Presley the night before his tax audit; this is in season four, so it is plausible by this point that Balki might be paying some kind of income tax on his earnings from the newspaper’s mail room

– yes, there is an episode of this program in which Larry brings home 58 live turkeys just a few days before Thanksgiving because he’s convinced he can make a buck off last minute shoppers; there’s nothing funnier than imagining Larry and Balki succumbing to the will of 58 live turkeys in their kitchen and living room, and imagine it is what you have to do—the budget apparently only allotted for two to three birds at a time

– yes, there’s an episode where Balki claims to have met and befriended Carl Lewis after a showing of Benji: The Hunted; Balki’s enthusiasm for this film is very endearing

– over the course of “Perfect Strangers” Larry and Balki meet, awkwardly date, and fall in sitcom love with their upstairs neighbors, Jennifer and Mary Ann (their partners respectively); these parallel romances remains chaste for the most part, even when they all wind up living together, although every once in a while something truly ribald slips by—like the time Balki admits Mary Ann really knows how to “toss his salad”; this occurs in a much later season when all the Friday night heat was ostensibly on Urkel

– people forget “Family Matters,” the show which begat Urkel, is a spinoff of “Perfect Strangers” (before she was mother to Laura and Eddie, wife to Carl, Harriet Winslow was elevator operator to Larry and Balki at their newspaper job); though he pops up on several other ABC TGIF entries of this era, Urkel never came to pay his respects to the cousins, which is fucking nuts because “Perfect Strangers” is the only TGIF show that takes place in the same city as “Family Matters”; even stranger, Mark Linn-Baker crossed over to “Family Matters” in one of its later seasons, but not as Larry, as some other guy

– the episode where Balki takes on the persona of hip hop star Fresh Young Balki B is less incredible than memory; the several minute applause break I recalled for the introduction of Larry as MC Cousin does not occur

– in the seventh season the King of Mypos (Balki’s fictitious homeland) comes to visit and of course dies unexpectedly; this turns into a Weekend at Bernie’s type deal but you’ll be more amused by how many times the dead guy thinks he’s off camera and starts moving his face around

– the final season of “Perfect Strangers” is inexplicably only six episodes, but don’t worry, they cram in pregnancy, a sporting good store, a Myposian death curse, a game show, and a two parter in a hot air balloon

– the only reason they should reboot this show is so we can learn if Bronson and Mark can still execute the Dance of Joy; it was foretold they would not be able to at this advanced age in the season three episode “Future Shock”; surely this is one of the top betting pools in Vegas

Area Man Enraged By Original “Perfect Strangers” Casting

Apologies if the following informational nugget is considered general pop culture knowledge—it is, as they say, news to me. I learned mere hours ago that rotund funny man Louie Anderson was originally cast as Balki Bartokomous’s hapless American cousin in late eighties ABC television staple “Perfect Strangers.” I am astonished, not only by the shocking truth itself but also by the fact it eluded me for so many years. Clearly I am not the expert on TGIF programming I thought I was!

Anderson portrayed Lou Appleton in the unaired pilot episode of “Perfect Strangers”; producers found the chemistry between the future “Family Feud” host and Bronson Pinchot lacking, though, so they swapped Anderson out for Mark Linn-Baker and changed the character’s name to Larry (because, let’s face it, Mark Linn-Baker has the name “Larry” written all over his pathetic hangdog face). The rest is slapstick history, but I feel we must pause now to reflect on how different our world would be had Anderson stayed on as Lou to Pinchot’s madcap Balki:

– the Dance of Joy would be altered to accomodate Anderson’s girth

– the role of Maurice in Coming to America may have gone to someone else

– Mark Linn-Baker would be remembered for My Favorite Year

– after eight seasons of chasing Balki around Chicago, Anderson probably would have been too burned out to make “Life With Louie”

Quite frankly, that’s not a reality I want to live in. The Dance of Joy must end with Larry in his cousin’s arms, just as Steve Urkel must never know the tender touch of Laura Winslow and Dave Coulier must never know the dignity of an entire “Full House” episode where he isn’t forced to use the Bullwinkle voice. Still, the idea of Louie Anderson whining, “BAHL-KEE!” in his trademark Midwestern drawl excites me to some degree. Thus, I shall write my Congressperson at once to see what they can do about getting the “Perfect Strangers” pilot released on Blu-Ray and in IMAX theaters for Christmas.