I went on a severely long road trip with a handful of friends to parts unknown; on the way back, we stopped at a McDonald’s in the Midwest noted for its immense shrine to Appetite For Destruction era Guns n’ Roses. Five massive obelisks had been erected in a grassy field next to this McDonald’s—one for each member of the band, each decorated with something unique to the personality of the band member in question (Slash’s obelisk had a top hat, obviously; Axl’s had a kilt and a bottle of Night Train; etc).
It was cool gawking at this GNR memorial but eventually I craved chicken nuggets. I went into the McDonald’s to discover the kitchen was being sublet to a group of sorority sisters from a nearby college. Thus, no one really knew how to make the food. I wandered back outside where I saw Sean William Scott taking his shoes off so he could meditate in front of the Axl obelisk.
A story is shooting around the blogosphere right now about this lady in Fort Pierce, FL, who called 911 on Saturday when her local McDonald’s ran out of Chicken McNuggets. The actions of Latreasa Goodman are being painted as typical low income Florida crazy by snickering, snarky Internet jockeys, but everyone seems to be missing a pretty big point: the McDonald’s in question didn’t just run out of McNuggets, they ran out of McNuggets and refused to give Latreasa a refund. Quotheth Goodman:
I ordered chicken nuggets. They don’t have chicken nuggets, and so I told [the cashier], ‘Just give me my money back,’ and she tells me I have to pick something else off the menu. She is not going to give me my money back, and she don’t have the right to take my money.”
Now, look. I’m not saying it’s cool to dial up emergency services every time some grease flinger tries to bully you into a Big n’ Tasty, but sometimes you just can’t take any more corporate bullshit and you gotta roll extreme in order to correct injustice. That’s what Latreasa did, and even though she might look crazy to the rest of the country, she eventually got her refund AND an invitation to come back for her original order free of charge from regional McDonald’s operations manager Carlos Solorzano. Yeah, Latreasa Goodman’s crazy…LIKE A FOX.
This story hits home with me today because I’ve spent a good portion of the past forty-eight hours going back and forth with various nasty IRS representatives who claim my 2008 tax refund wasn’t direct deposited into my checking account because I provided the wrong routing number with my tax forms DESPITE confirmation on two separate occasions that the numbers I wrote down for Uncle Sam match the same little numbers at the bottom of all my fruity pink dolphin checks. After being dragged through psychological hell by the absolute dregs of mouth-breathing call center society, it’s nice to see the little guy win at least one round somewhere else.
Hey, IRS—chew my lint, you flubber-sucking cubicle amoebas.
While we’re on the subject of McDonald’s food items that may or may not exist, I present for your consideration the McGangBang. I almost want to get a video camera myself and see how many Mickey Dee’s around the city will actually whip one of those up for me.