Tag Archive | the Hulk

Further On Weiland

Disney’s Gonna Milk This Bantha For All She’s Worth

Disney’s new logic: what was good for Marvel will be good for Star Wars. The galactic empire that now owns the Galactic Empire is planning to make a trilogy of SW films outside Episodes VII, VIII, and IX, films they’ll plug in between chapters of the tent pole series that will center around different beloved Lucafilm characters. Yoda, Han Solo, and Boba Fett are allegedly in the running for these standalone movies, seemingly safe bets each for compartmentalized adventures (as opposed to your average Ewok who lacks the basic knowledge to pilot a star cruiser off of Endor).

My fear is the Mouse will fall into the Wolverine/Hulk trap where these standalone films underperform and their response is to keep saying “do over!” until people are sick of seeing the chosen characters onscreen. Can you believe Marvel’s thinking about making a third Hulk movie because Ruffalo got so many good notices in Avengers? Never mind audiences practically rioted in the literal sense of the word when they bore witness to the last two Hulk movies. Hey, you know what, movie brain trust? Maybe some of these characters aren’t supposed to sustain an entire production by themselves. Maybe characters like the Hulk and Wolverine and Boba Fett (at least in terms of cinema) should only be ensemble players. Shit, look at “AfterMASH.” No one wanted that much Jamie Farr.

Now, I could be wrong. Maybe the right convergence of talent could give us ninety minutes of Yoda that isn’t wall-to-wall cartoony bullshit like what they made him do in the prequels (he was throwing furniture in that third one—fucking’ furniture! Sheesh!). I’m not holding my breath, though. I’m not even holding my breath for Episode VII. Are we gonna hafta see Chewbacca’s son again? That strikes me as something J.J. might do.

Unsolicited The Avengers Haiku Review

Okay, we get it
Iron Man loves “Thunderstruck”
What’s on Hulk’s iPod?

Black Widow’s Hair Is Stronger Than Iron Man

I checked out that Avengers trailer today because, duh, Captain America + Iron Man + Hulk. One moment in particular caught my eye during the onslaught of action snippets: ScarJo’s Black Widow standing (heroically?) in front of an exploding bus. Despite the massive ball of fire going on directly behind her, the Widow’s hair does not appear to move an inch. I’m glad they’re carrying over the follicle continuity from Iron Man 2. Remember in that movie when Black Widow somehow managed to perfectly crimp her hair in the backseat of a car during a high speed chase? That was amazing. They should make this chick’s super ‘do its own separate hero.