Tag Archive | Tiny Tim

Tiptoe Through The Afterlife

Here I am last Friday at Tiny Tim’s grave, which as you can see isn’t so much a grave but a tomb. Yes, I spent Labor Day 2013 in the Minneapolis / St. Paul area, because why the heck not? I’ve been very candid during this campaign about my lust for the Twin Cities. Four visits now and I still haven’t seen and done everything on my bucket list for that region. Their motto should be the Twin Cities: We Got So Much Goin’ On!

By the way, the mausoleum that houses Tiny at the Lakewood Cemetery is enormous. This is what the hallways (Tiny Tim’s mausoleum has hallways!) look like:

Tulip Boy buried in that swank shit.

I’ll write more later about my Midwestern adventures, including the glorious five hours I spent at the Minnesota State Fair (the largest state fair IN THE WORLD) and the uncomfortable twenty minutes I spent at a store called Moods of Norway. Oh, there were some moods in there alright!

Dave Mustaine Can Retire Now That Metallica Let Him Back In The Band For Four Songs, Right?

Metallica hosted a bevy of big name guests over the weekend for their thirtieth anniversary concerts (Ozzy, Halford, Danzig, the guy from Anti-Nowhere League), but let’s face it, the real story is that on Saturday night they let Dave Mustaine come onstage to play all the songs he wrote with the band in the early ’80s before they tossed his ass to the curb like so much banana peel (well, all except “The Four Horsemen,” because Dave still plays that one with Megadeth as “Mechanix”). Behold, the YouTubes can haz Metalli-Dave:

Isn’t this the moment Mustaine’s been working toward for the past three decades? Can he finally retire Megadeth now and focus on his real life passions (which are Peanut M&Ms and archery, according to the last issue of SPIN I looked at)? Probably not, considering how these rockers usually can’t stop rocking until they are physically unable to rock any longer. Look at Tiny Tim—that mah’fucker died onstage at the Woman’s Club of Minneapolis! You don’t have to be Criswell to realize that’s exactly how all these heavy metal guys are gonna go.