As you may have gathered, I recently watched the 1982 sci-fi teen sex comedy Zapped! and it really messed with my head. I just can’t stop thinking about the damn thing, mainly because the movie leaves so many unanswered questions. Here now, six of the biggies:
1. Who is Scott Baio growing all that weed for? The son of a gun’s got this epic stash in his science lab, but we never really learn the identity of the intended recipient. The principal? The baseball coach? Himself?
2. What happens to that kid from “Square Pegs?” They make a big deal about introducing him and his posse at the top of the movie and then he just disappears. Was that who Scott Baio was growing the weed for?
3. How do the principal and that teacher not get thrown out of the restaurant for screwing under the table?
4. What the hell is going on in that scene where Heather Thomas farts? Does Willie Aames not care that she farted, or was he the one who farted? If so, he doesn’t seem too concerned with it. Neither does Heather Thomas. Was farting cool in 1982?
5.[SPOILER ALERT] If Scott Baio didn’t actually lose his powers in the end, why the fuck didn’t he come back for the sequel? Admittedly, this is more a question Zapped Again! fails to answer.
There once was a teenager named Barney
who got caught up in some brain power blarney
he knocked off some bras
which soon gave him pause
’cause people treated him like fuckin’ Art Carney!
Oh, Heather Thomas
RC to Locklear’s Pepsi
Willie Aames hit that.